The Great Escape

Patriots, I’m sure you’re all aware by now that “Paranoid Times” went dark for a while there. But what you may not know is that it wasn’t just a planned vacation or a bout of technical difficulties. No, no… I was forced to go even deeper underground, folks.

We were also in a transition from “Cerberus Investigations” to “Paranoid Times” with a brand new website address.

You can now reach us at Paranoidtimes.ca - thanks to disposible anonymous visa gift cards.

My sources have confirmed that Donald Trump and Elon Musk had finally tracked me down. You see, they wanted to silence me, to shut down my operation once and for all. But I’ve got news for them: you can’t silence me that easily.

I had to take extreme measures to evade Musk’s henchmen, folks. I’m talking encrypted safe houses, burner phones, the works. And let me tell you, it was a wild ride. From dodging surveillance drones in the skies above Montreal to making contact with a trusted ally within the Trump administration (I can neither confirm nor deny this, but…), I’ve been living on borrowed time.

We’re going to dive deep into the world of Elon that led to my recent hiatus.

It’s been three months since I’ve gone dark, but I’m finally back. As you know, our website has always prided itself on being ahead of the curve, uncovering secrets that others dare not speak about. And now, I’m here to share with you an experience so harrowing, it’ll leave you questioning everything.

You see, back in December, we exposed a shocking truth – Elon Musk’s plan to use brain chips to create mindless drones for his Mars colonization project. We revealed how his Neuralink technology was not only capable of controlling human thoughts but also had the potential to turn people into subservient automatons. All powered by Hitler’s Brain and Vladimir Putin’s Eastern Orthodox Christianity.

Well, it seems that revelation didn’t sit well with the Trump administration. They knew they couldn’t touch me because I’m not an American, so they decided to take a different route.

Recently, Donald Trump has been threatening Canada with annexation and using tariffs as economic coercion. With their plans for annexation and the Trudeau government now dismantled, they’ve been secretly working on a Canadian invasion plan – dubbed “Operation North Star” by those in the know.

Their goal is simple: make it legal for Trump’s goons to operate within Canada’s borders, which would allow them to silence me and others once and for all. And what better way to do that than through annexation? By taking over our great nation, they’ll gain control of our resources, our people, and our media – effectively silencing any opposition to their agenda.

For months, I’ve been on the run, evading Musk’s private security forces as they tried to track me down. They followed my every move, hacking into my online accounts, surveillance cameras, and even trying to infiltrate the Paranoid Times bunker itself.

But what I couldn’t shake was their single-minded determination to find me. They’d cornered me in Montreal, in Toronto, and even in the Great White North itself – but there’s only so far you can run when your pursuers are this relentless.

Now, as a seasoned truth-seeker, I’ve always had my secret underground bunker ready to go. It’s an old network of tunnels and caverns deep within the Canadian Shield, where I could lay low for as long as it took for the storm to pass. But this particular location has been compromised – someone on our team, either a mole or a coerced source, had given up its exact coordinates.

The Canadian shield is a huge area to cover. Just knowing about it doesn’t mean you’ll have the location for millions of potential entry points.

I’ll never forget the sound of those thugs pounding on the entrance of my bunker, shattering the steel door and bursting into the tunnels. They were led by one of Trump’s top goons, a man named Mike Flynn – yes, that Mike Flynn, folks! And let me tell you, he was determined to put an end to this website once and for all.

But I had a plan. With our team’s help, we’d set up a series of decoy tunnels and trapdoors leading out into the Canadian wilderness.

We led them on a merry chase, dodging their attempts at capture while buying myself just enough time to get back online and warn you all about what was happening.

Stay vigilant, folks! The war on truth is far from over. We’ll keep digging, exposing the secrets they try to hide, and fighting for our right to know. And when the dust settles, we’ll be here, shining a light into the dark corners of this twisted world…

And now, I have an important message for our readers in Canada: if you see this, it means I’m still alive!

Get ready to resist, Canada! We’ll need every ounce of courage and determination to fight back against these mother fuckers…